Freedom In Relationship

You know what’s crazy 

Awareness in relationship 

When you begin a relationship bonded by trauma

It hurts so good

You feed each other’s wounds 

That is the whole reason you are together

To become free. 

This begins to happen when you develop  awareness. 

Awareness that the part of what initially pulled you to this person 

is how they reinforce something you are used to. 

They reinforce the limit on love you believe you deserve.

Maybe it’s the way you always feel slightly abandoned 

Or how you feel the need to prove to them that you are worthy, to be chosen 

Perhaps it’s that their actions don’t line up with their words 

Or you put them on a pedestal believing you need to be fixed and they can do it

Maybe you give too many second chances to count 

Whatever it is, the people we are brought to bring up something in us 

Leaving us feeling stuck and caged with nowhere to go, because that is all we know.

but really this stuck place is not stuck at all 

This is our key to freedom

When you both become aware of the unhealthy tendencies on both sides of your relationship 

It may seem easier to walk away

“Why would I want to be someone who treats me the way my father did”

“Ahh now I see how you are hurting me, or you’re making it difficult for me to xyz ..”

But but but-

These reactions are all blame 

You will more than likely go off to the other side of the cage and find another person who triggers these same wounds 

And you will repeat this over and over again until you decide to take responsibility 

When you meet these people who mirror to you where you are not free

See them as gifts because they will lead you to your freedom 

And if you both wake up together 

If you both become aware of the trauma that bonds you,

Together with a commitment to truth you will grow into the people that are not held back by the wounds passed onto you.

You will both realize you may have been born in that cage or you may have walked right in,  

but the door was never locked

You will point out each others wings and realize...

 all you had to do was fly.